Worthiness, Wallowing, Worrying, Walking, Writing — What the Fuck?
Last year Eckhart Tolle taught me:
Too much sadness, anger, grief- too much past, not enough presence.
Too much anxiety, worry, fear-too much future, not enough presence.
I know in my core my truth. Without a doubt. I believe in myself. I believe in my vulnerability. I believe in my attributes. I believe in me!
I AM —
A Human who finds a way.
A spirit that changes direction when not feeling my spirit.
A listener of my inner healer who takes my wheel to redirect me when needed.
A Woman, in awareness, in sexuality, in motherhood, in confidence, in goddessness.
I know both in theory, and at my core, mentally and physically, that I am loved and am love.
And worthy. Fucking worthy.
As we all are.
So it goddamn pisses me off how one comment from one person in one moment can unhinge me so quickly and ferociously!
Oh how that makes me mad!
It’s consuming! Total chaos of past and future swirling around — atoms and molecules and cells going in a million directions, fucking with my spirit.
Minuscule in worthiness or truth yet their weight is so suffocating.
When this happens their is absolutely zero presence or stillness. It’s the opposite of being centered, still, or present.
I will need to find my way back to center-
It will be a fight!
But I will claw my way back to the present and realize that is all I have. And in the present moment I am so filled with abundant amounts of oxygen and hope and love.
I am calm and still and life is beautiful and fabulous.
I just need to sit in the chaos until the storm dies down. Today I choose to that by going through my feelings because, of course,
what’s in the way, is the way
And by crying my fucking eyes out! I decide to walk while I do this because I figure I might as well get my fucking Fitbit steps in while I wallow right? Sunglasses on and hope to not run into any judgy suburban stay-at-home-moms who might be wandering around.
And I do. I get my steps in and I cry myself right into my breath. I walk into my center and worthiness again. I give my inner healer, my goddess, my source within a hug and thank her for always showing me the way.
Then, I write.
Find your Fierceness my Friends.💃