Meaningful Monday

Our autism journey

What’s in a day. How do you work through the moments that are rough so that you can find your calm. One day at a time, one minute at a time, and sometimes one second at a time. I sit here stressing over the things I can’t control, upset because I can’t seem to do the things I should be doing, and overjoyed because of all the progress Owen has made. In my mind I think all of this should be so simply, and yet here I sit with so much on my plate I can’t even look at my plate. It’s easier to focus on something else, anything else than what I’m faced with. Every time I think I’m over one hurdle I learn I am not where I think I am. It never seems like there is enough help for families and the struggle to know what to do, or who to get help from is so hard. I want to sit and cry, but that is accomplishing nothing. Maybe it helps to get it all out. As the holidays approach I know my anxiety levels are higher. I should have a Christmas tree up, I should be wrapping presents, I should be excited. But I’m not. Owen is singing Christmas songs and saw Santa. I asked Owen what he wanted from Santa and he said, “peanut butter”. My heart leapt for joy, laughed, and cried all at the same time. My baby answered a question, he likes peanut butter, but does he really want peanut butter for Christmas. He has it on his waffles all the time, but he will be getting some for Christmas. I cherish this small step though, for they are the biggest of victories. My emotions are all over the map. Thinking about how to make my little boy’s dreams come true and making his daily life less stressful, and mine too. So I’m taking this one moment at a time, for today it’s probably one minute at a time, trying to focus on the positive and let everything else go for now. Cherish the happy things in life. Find your strength and know that today is one day, keep pushing forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!

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