“It is what it is. It’ll become what you make of it.” — old proverb
Whatever we resist, persists.
Most people don’t want to be where they are — they’re not comfortable in their lives. Whatever you fight, you will win in the end. If you want to get stronger, you’ll have to face the
Some people have the inability to let go of their ego and they keep getting back into situations that are bad for them. Giving up the fight is called acceptance, not giving up your dreams.
Acceptance Is Anything but Passive
“A weed is but an unloved flower.”
― Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Acceptance is not resignation, and it’s not about lowering your expectations. When you accept what has happened, it is about taking responsibility for what will happen next. It means owning your feelings, moving forward from the moment of change, and making the best of a difficult situation.
On the contrary, you can’t improve something you don’t fully accept first. Acceptance is the ability to accept and experience life fully, without resistance. You learn not to try to change what you can’t control. And, instead, focus on what you can: yourself. It’s raining. You may not like it, but you can accept the fact that it’s going to rain whether you like it or not.
You can buy an umbrella, but it won’t stop the rain. Noah Rasheta uses Tetris as an analogy to explain how people cope with reality. To win, we must position the next piece of the puzzle to come in the best way possible. There’s no choice about the shape of the puzzle – we just have to adapt to whatever piece is given to us.
Try controlling the game, instead, and you’ll be able to keep up with the play. “That isn’t the shape I expected. The one I need isn’t in here!” You don’t win at Tetris by yelling but by putting the blocks in the right spot. Which one sounds better to you? Which one would be more effective in building your brand’s authority?
What matters most in life is how you treat people, not how you emotionally react to them. A lot like life. When we face situations that don’t go as planned, we react emotionally, which makes us feel anxious or angry. This, in turn, changes our perspective on those situations.
Acceptance helps us get through the day, it gives us permission. We don’t get stuck in the past. Acceptance is a choice. You choose to play with the pieces you get instead of expecting them to have a different shape.
That doesn’t mean that you condone any harmful situations. You simply recognize that you are in a specific situation and must choose what you are going to do with it. When you struggle with the pain, you create needless suffering.
Changing requires you to start from the right place. Start here to discover how. You can’t improve yourself, your workplace or relationships, if you don’t accept your current state first. You get clarity if you accept that what it is, is under your control.
You get what you think about rather than wishing someone else to get it. Be honest about your weaknesses, and then work on improving them. Don’t try to be something you aren’t.
The Opposite of Acceptance Is Avoidance
“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” — Nathaniel Branden
We are our own worst enemies. We expect that things will change rather than accept them as they are. That’s why we are always trying to change ourselves too. The truth of life is that we have to live with things being out of our control.
We are not perfect. We can’t change other people. We can’t control the future. Past events cannot be changed. And if you want to be successful in life, then you must stop expecting people to. You’ll have to accept the fact that you are going to die.
To become an open book, accept the fact that you cannot control everything that happens in your life. You cannot confront what you do not understand. You can’t act on what you cannot see.
The first step in the twelve-step program to recovery from alcohol addiction is to admit that we cannot control our add.When you face a problem, don’t hide from it. Don’t try to run away.
To accept reality, we must experience it first.
A person’s thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and actions create their reality. It’s their job to be in alignment with their values and to be the best version of themselves that they can be. Experiential avoidance means that you avoid unwanted or painful experiences by avoiding thinking about them. It may harm you in the long-run.
For example, a CEO who’s not seeing results from her or his team. “Adjust the forecast” means accepting that the forecast is wrong, and “change the strategy” means changing the course of action that you’re currently following. Avoidance is avoidance; you’re avoiding reality. Instead, you want to accept your anxiety and move on from it.
The goal of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is to accept that unpleasant feelings exist, even when they seem unbearable. We let them breathe and allow them to be who they are. The truth of the moment is that we don’t resist it. To open up doesn’t mean to like everything but running away from what we dislike.
You must allow the actual feelings you have about a situation to come out. You’re always open to experience things fully. When you approach things from a position of wisdom rather than emotions, you can make a wise choice
Eckhart Tolle said, “Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”
Trying not to feel our suffering is the opposite of acceptance. “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet”. If you really appreciate your potential, life will start working for you.
Surrender to the Moment
“Sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and become comfortable with not knowing.” — Eckhart Tolle
How do we transition from resistance to acceptance?
We must surrender.
That’s what spiritual author Eckhart Tolle recommends. There must be a fundamental difference between liking and liking, and disliking and liking. To see the world exactly as it is, and to have peace with the fact that life happens.
You’re creating unnecessary conflicts between the internal world and the external world. It’s not uncommon for people to not want to be where they are, says Tolle. We don’t want to be in traffic jams, airport security checkpoints or toxic workplaces, to name a few. 5When you are overwhelmed by anger, frustration, or fear, sometimes it is better to walk away than to stay.
Surrender means transitioning from resistance to acceptance — we say ‘yes’ to life.
Living is less painful when we don’t expect specific things to happen in the future. We only focus on doing our best with the pieces we receive. No matter how we describe ourselves, it always sounds better to say good things about ourselves. When we are talking about ourselves, however, it’s important to say only the good things about ourselves.
Make room for the moment. If you don’t surrender to the present, you will surrender your happiness. It’s very easy to appreciate what you have when you realize that you are not the only person in the world who has problems.
Acceptance and commitment therapy uses the concept of ‘defusion’ to describe the ability to separate ourselves from our thoughts. We must learn to see our thoughts, accept them, and not try to force them away. Acceptance helps us gain clarity.
You cultivate the ability to face difficult thoughts and emotions that serve to achieve what you want the most. Ask “why is this happening to me?” instead. Focus on what you can do with what you have. If you make the demands that you’re used to placing on your life, then nothing will ever change for you. It’s time to start putting your desires, wants, and needs first.
Practice makes perfect. You may experience frustration or disappointment, but you won’t have any unnecessary pain. Getting used to practicing acceptance will help you prepare to accept more challenging situations. Give up winning the game of life so you can surrender to the moment.