Our autism journey
Everything in its place and everything has a place, and it’s all routine, with song; until it’s different. Owen woke, I heard the running of his feet on the wood floor, and I knew he would be in my arms in a minute. Only he wasn’t. He ran in the living room and instantly stopped, walked forward slowly, and looked at the curtains. He had moved them yesterday. I had tried to put them back like they always go, but I didn’t get it quite right. They have long since been broken and don’t sit quite right. The rules change and stay the same. I never know which day, which rules will apply, or if they will cause a meltdown, or he will let the rules go. Today, the broken curtain was fine. He examined it, he moved it a little, then he picked up his tablet and he came to sit on my lap. He clung to me for a few minutes as he began to wake up. He wanted me to tickle him and we laughed. His legs became intertwined with mine as he tried to get the pressure on the bottom of his feet that he craves. I started pushing on his feet, doing his compressions and a calmed washed over him. He got up, ran to his rocket ship, and broke out in song. The dude comes up with songs all the time and generally include his beloved rocket ship. Sometimes you can’t understand any other words beside “rocket ship”. Sometimes the song uses the words and melody from other songs, but still includes the words rocket ship. I wonder what he dreams about, I wonder if his rocket ship blasts him off for worlds unknown, where he explores with Mickey and the gang. Do his dreams bring him comfort or do the curtains need to be in order in them as well. Oh, to be able to talk to Owen, let him explain his world to me. I would give anything for that. To be able to find peace and calm for him would be amazing. My emotions sit strong in my heart once again today. I can’t seem to let go of the sadness right now. It’s mixed with delirious amounts of hope. I wake up every day with hope. Today was no different, with huge smiles and laughs, but the sadness is there. The hope for today is no struggles or worries for my baby, and for all. Owen has given me more motivation and inspiration than I ever even dreamed was possible. Find your hope, your passion and make your dreams come true. Smiles to all and donut daze!