Doights croisés

It’s been an interesting and busy couple of weeks, so much so that I haven’t really​ stopped and taken the time to write. Shame on me. I’m just four days away from having my final results confirmed. I mean, I’m pretty sure I’ve​ worked it out correctly, but I’m not risking opening my mouth and being wrong. Talk about awkward.

Assuming I’ve done it right, (dear god I hope I have) then I’ll be pretty pleased with the result. Could have been better, obviously, but it could have been a hell of a lot worse, so I’m just going to smile politely and accept it. Have to say, I’m most pleased with the reaction that my feature film script received. That script was very personal to me and many elements of it were autobiographical, so the fact that it got the highest grade I’ve ever had means a lot to me.

I feel like I’ve done a lot of growing up in the last couple of weeks. My friends and I joke about all the ‘adulting’ we have to do now, but the reality is that a lot of it’s hard. I finally, (emphasis on the “finally”), finished university; technically I finished weeks ago but I’ve been making excuses to keep going back. I have attachment issues, what can I say. I’ve made my peace with leaving the newspaper and I’m actually a little relieved that it’s someone else’s turn now. Since getting my tattoo in recognition of it, I’ve had an unexpected sense of closure. Plus, Boo’s adorable (don’t laugh, what better name for a ghost?). And of course, applying for copious amounts of jobs, ever my least favourite thing to do.

Like many folks, I hate the process of looking for and applying for jobs, it’s so time-consuming and frankly, demoralising. It doesn’t take long for me to start feeling flat and doubting myself. I have a real hatred for the system sometimes, when the go-to excuse for rejection is lack of experience, that won’t change unless someone gives you a chance to get some experience. But, I saw a video online the other day of a girl who lost her hearing and taught herself to sing again; she had been singing her whole life, but lost her hearing at the age of eighteen. She taught herself to sing again by feeling the pitch of her voice through the soles of her feet on the ground. How amazing is that? If people can overcome huge barriers like that, and have to work so hard to overcome them, I think I can handle a few weeks/months of rejection.

I have an interview on Friday for the job I really want. If I could create my ideal situation to walk into after graduation, that job would be it. The thought of the interview makes me extremely nervous, I haven’t been able to stop myself thinking of where I might fall short in comparison to other candidates. Gonna nip that in the bud right now, going to put everything I have into this interview and hopefully take a step in the right direction.

I’ve spent the last few days preparing for said interview. Even bought a portfolio case for all my work; does it get any more ‘adult’ than that? The weird thing is, usually before an interview, or something similar, I feel nervous. Who doesn’t? This time though, yeah I feel nervous, I’d be worried if I didn’t, but I also feel excited. I feel ready to walk through that door and go after what I want.

Regardless of how it goes, when I walk in and lay my newspapers out in their little plastic wallets, I will feel good. Good, because I couldn’t have put any more effort into the interview than I have. Good, because I’m pleased that I was even shortlisted for the job. And good, because I’ll be wearing a great outfit that I bought last week that looks awesome with my new briefcase.

Classification of results and a job interview on the same day. Definitely hoping Friday is more of a Fri-yay. So whether you know me or whether you don’t, keep your fingers crossed for me, okay?

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